642 Things – 87: A powerful Hollywood agent’s personal to-do list

Try to get studio to greenlight needless sequel.
Arrange for a pretend relationship between my C list celebrity and my fellow agents’ A list celebrity
Get the D-listers to wash my car again.
Try and find an indie film I can cram my oldest star into, bring back his career
Get out of bed (this one is optional)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unlike my two books (“The Great Platypus Caper” and “The Coconut Monkey Horror”) I can not promise that each entry in my 642 things to write about series will be true stories drawn from my life, I’ll leave the amount of truth in each entry up to your imagination.
Want to stretch your writing muscles as well? Post your response to the writing prompt in the comments section. I’d love to see it.

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642 Things – 86: The general manager of the New York Yankees’ personal to-do list

(Oh God, ummm…)
Watch the winning teams, what are they doing that we aren’t?
Hire new team members
Rotate out the coaches ever 4,000 miles
Spend 2 hours in a sensory deprivation tank
Trim my toenails

 

 

Unlike my two books (“The Great Platypus Caper” and “The Coconut Monkey Horror”) I can not promise that each entry in my 642 things to write about series will be true stories drawn from my life, I’ll leave the amount of truth in each entry up to your imagination.
Want to stretch your writing muscles as well? Post your response to the writing prompt in the comments section. I’d love to see it.

 

 

 

642 Things – 85: The president’s personal to-do list

(Well, this one’s gonna get a bit political, I know it’s not my style, but they specifically asked for it)
Skip morning briefings to watch Fox News
Track down reporters talking about my small hands and tweet about their families
Call anyone who says anything negative about me FAKE, because anything negative about me must be fake, I’m the best.
Tell Spicer to inform that press that I’m actually the first legitimate president we’ve ever had. This is totally historically accurate.
Hope that finally someone catches on that my entire presidency is a brilliant performance piece about the dangers of celebrity politics.

 

 

 

Unlike my two books (“The Great Platypus Caper” and “The Coconut Monkey Horror”) I can not promise that each entry in my 642 things to write about series will be true stories drawn from my life, I’ll leave the amount of truth in each entry up to your imagination.
Want to stretch your writing muscles as well? Post your response to the writing prompt in the comments section. I’d love to see it.

 

642 Things – 84: Write a scene in which a person is leaving a restaurant with her husband and bumps into a former lover. What words are exchanged or not exchanged? What do her body positions say?

As Jennifer walked out of the restaurant with her husband, she saw James walking in.

Jennifer’s Mind: Oh God, please don’t see me.
Jennifer’s Body: Make yourself small, hide behind your husband.
James: Oh! Hey Jennifer!
Jennifer’s Body: Quick, stand up straight, try and look desirable!
Jennifer’s Mind: Well, I guess we’re doing this.
Jennifer’s Mouth: Oh, hey James, long time no see.
Jennifer’s Mind: Yeah, it’s been 4 years and 6 months since you dumped me for my best friend.
James: Yeah, how are you doing?
Jennifer’s Mind: Be positive, not being with him was the best thing that could happen!
Jennifer’s Body: Grab the husband, use the husband.
Jennifer’s Mind: Yes, the husband is MUCH better looking than the Ex, point out the husband.
Jennifer’s Mouth: Oh, I’m doing great, I don’t think you’ve met my husband Ryan.
Jennifer’s Body: Nudge the husband forward.
Jennifer’s Mind: Come on hubby, shake the hand, be superior to this guy.
Ryan: Hey, good to meet you!
Ryan’s Body: Crushing grip. Must make myself look big to intimidate potential threat.
James: Oh hey, good to meet you.
James’ Body: Ouch my hand.
James’ Mind: Oh good, he see’s me as a threat. Yeah, I could totally still have her if I wanted. She looks good…maybe I should renew our friendship…keep that door open.
James: Hey listen, I’ve got to run now, but we should grab coffee sometime, you know, catch-up.
James’ Mind: Don’t bring the gorilla though.
James: Ryan, you’re welcome to come as well.
Jennifer’s Mind: He wants me back. Now I can have my revenge, lead him on, and then SHUT HIM DOWN like he did me.
Jennifer’s Body: You know you still want all this.
Ryan’s Mind: No way am I letting this guy alone with my wife.
Ryan: Sure, that sounds fun.
Jennifer’s Mind: Now I just have to find a way to meet for coffee without the husband.
Jennifer’s Body: Grab the husband’s arm, flash some cleavage, just a hint.
James’ Mind: This guy is big, better end this quick.
James’ Body: Walk away, wave
James: I’ll give you a call later, we’ll set something up.
Jennifer’s Mind: This is gonna be fun.
Ryan’s Mind: I’m gonna kill that guy.
Jennifer’s Body: Hint of a smile, quick, almost secretive wave, make him think he can have you.
Jennifer: Sure, I’ll talk to you later.

 

 

 

 

Unlike my two books (“The Great Platypus Caper” and “The Coconut Monkey Horror”) I can not promise that each entry in my 642 things to write about series will be true stories drawn from my life, I’ll leave the amount of truth in each entry up to your imagination.
Want to stretch your writing muscles as well? Post your response to the writing prompt in the comments section. I’d love to see it.

642 Things – 83: Write a scene that begins: “It was the first time I killed a man.”

It was the first time I killed a man, but let’s be honest, it’s not like I had another choice. I was minding my business, content to simply go about my new life. He’s the one who had to come flying out of my past to disrupt my present.

For the last 16 years I’d been Mike James, and I loved it. Mike is a simply guy, a guy of small pleasures and no pressures. He works as an auto mechanic, makes decent money, goes to the occasional happy hour with his coworkers, and has a pretty nice little apartment. I love being Mike.

I’d spent the first 30 years of my life being Anthony Howard…and I didn’t enjoy it at all. My family had money. Not CRAZY money, but money. If we’d had more money, maybe things would have been a bit different, I could have been raised as the idle rich, but no, it was expected that I would work my butt off on behalf of the family to continue to raise our income. We had an image to maintain, and it was my job to help maintain it.

I had my first ulcer at 23.

At no point in my life do I remember anybody ever asking what I wanted to be when I grew up, they wouldn’t have cared anyway. My destiny was spoken for, I would go into business. When I went to college I was overwhelmed by all the options suddenly available to me….well…I say “available”…. I was overwhelmed by all the choices everyone else was getting to make. I once met a girl who was majoring in History. HISTORY! This charming young lady had decided to dedicate her life to studying the past, and nobody was going to stop her.

I hope nobody stopped her.

But my path was spoken for. I got my MBA, with as few extra-circulars as I could manage, heaven forbid I get a broader education, I might find something I wanted to do. And I began my job working for the family business.

Would you believe my family even picked my wife for me? Nice enough girl I suppose, but we always felt like two strangers forced to share a house. A kid didn’t fix that. Nothing could fix that.

And then came September 11th. Now I know it was a national tragedy, really, so many innocent people died that day, but at least one life was created that day, the life of Mike James.

I was supposed to be in the first tower early that morning, but I wasn’t. In a rare bout of insanity I decided to just show up late, I would grab a sandwich downtown, have some coffee, read a paper. I had decided that for 2 hours this day I would do whatever I wanted, and just be another face in the crowd.

And then IT happened.

It didn’t occur to me right away, no, what kind of madman would I have to be where this was my first thought? But eventually it occurred to me that everyone I knew would assume I was in that building, right where I was supposed to be. And I could go anywhere else, and BE anyone else.

I found myself a nice little small town in the middle of nowhere, found an old auto-shop in need of a helping hand, and BAM! Mike James was born.

16 years of doing just as I darn well pleased. It wasn’t a fancy life, but it didn’t need to be, I’d had fancy, I was ready for something smaller. I was aiming for contentment, and I landed smack dab in the middle of it.

And then Carl showed up. Of all the small towns for him to cut through on his little business trips. Of all the places for his car to break down. I had hoped at first he wouldn’t recognize me, but he did. I could tell as the blood drained from his face.

My cousin Carl had just seen a ghost, and it was me.

Luckily I was alone in the shop at the time, before he could say anything, before he could pull out his phone and ruin my world, I was on him. Mechanics have access to some pretty heavy wrenches, and his head caved in with a soft sound.

Then I just crammed him in his own trunk, fixed his car, and waited until night time when I could drive it into Lake Camapek. Sure, they’d probably find his car quick enough, but if I was lucky the water would wash away any evidence. Besides, even if it doesn’t, all the evidence will do is point to a man who died 16 years ago.

It was the first time I had killed a man, but it was surprisingly easy…hmmmm……

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unlike my two books (“The Great Platypus Caper” and “The Coconut Monkey Horror”) I can not promise that each entry in my 642 things to write about series will be true stories drawn from my life, I’ll leave the amount of truth in each entry up to your imagination.
Want to stretch your writing muscles as well? Post your response to the writing prompt in the comments section. I’d love to see it.